After my big announcement last month, I'm sure you're all waiting with bated breath to hear how the Europe concert turned out. Well, here's my review:
There were two opening acts. The first, a local Chicago band called Seventh Heaven wasn't terrible. Actually, at first we thought they were -- little did we know what we were in for with the second act, though. Seventh Heaven was pretty much a typical rock band, though. Rather predictable (frontman sings verse, harmony on chorus, guitar solo, lather, rinse, repeat). Also, their lyrics were outrageously bad. "Your grav-uh-tee, is pulling at me...It's bringing me down." (Apparently this song was an ode to Sir Isaac Newton). "Life is sedated, when I'm medicated." (You don't say?) Also, they apparently wrote a song about plastic wrap (called "Cellophane"). Otherwise, though, they were tolerable.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for "Slick," the second band to take the stage. This was quite possibly the worst band I have ever seen on any level (including Marty McFly and the Pinheads). Galactically bad. In fact, we saw this guy setting up who had long hair, a goatee, and a Slayer T-shirt on, and we started discussing what life was like for roadies. Well, he wasn't a roadie -- he was the lead singer of the band! The lead guitarist looked like Billy Idol on a bad day (which is saying something), and the rhythm guitarist had a permanent "I'm getting paid for this, right?" look to him. They tried to be metal, but turned out being incredibly bland (how many driving guitar riffs can you hear before it just becomes monotonous? Go see this band and you'll find out!). These guys were to Metallica what Boone's Farm is to wine. Oh, and the best song they played all night was a cover of Seal's "Crazy." Read that again: They were a "metal" band, and they covered Seal. Just horrible all around. Their souvenir T-shirt's including the all-too-witty saying "Suck it!" on the back. It would've been more appropos if they left off the "it"...
Which brings us to our main attraction: Europe. In all honesty, I could only name two Europe songs off the top of my head coming into this show -- "The Final Countdown" and "Carrie." During the show, I recognized a few more -- "Cherokee," "Superstitious," and "Rock the Night." Otherwise, they engaged in that annoying habit all-too-common among bands that are well past their heyday: They insisted on playing their "new" stuff.
Now, I'm not going to disparage them their chance to try out some new licks. But, it was quite obvious that at least 90% of the people there were there only to hear the old stuff. (In fact, given the reaction to "Carrie," I'd venture to say at least 30% of the women there were actually named "Carrie," and that was the only reason they were there). Overall, though, they put on a good show. The lead singer is easily the best microphone-stand-twirler in all of rockdom, the lead guitarist can rock, and their music is still pretty good. They, of course, left "The Final Countdown" until the final song of their encore, and once those syntesizer notes began, the House of Blues erupted. It was well worth the wait, even if (as we decided on the way home), "The Final Countdown" could lyrically be the dumbest song ever written ("We're leaving for Venus"??? Really?).
Overall grades:
Seventh Heaven: C+ (adequate, and they get extra pts. for the hot girl who sang backup...although I'm fairly certain she's one of the band members' girlfriends, which means she'll likely lead to the demise of the band...)
Slick: Is there such a thing as an F- ?
Europe: A. All in all, a good show. Plus, there's no way I'm getting that song out of my head for the next week or so....da-da-dunh-dah, da-da-dunh-dunh-dah...
-- RAM
